best thing that i have ever done

being a mom is the best thing
that i have ever done.
being a mom is the hardest thing
that i have ever done.
but in the hardest, loneliest, craziest, saddest, most frustrating parenting moments when i am absolutely convinced that i am doing it all wrong, God shows me something about sweet river that totally redeems the moment. God shows me, an imperfect human, the perfection of his creation. God shows me, a selfish screw-up, that he wants to redeem us all. thank God. thank God. thank God.

"when satan tempts me to despair
and tells me of the guilt within,
upward i look and see him there
who put an end to all my sin.
because the sinless savior died
my sinful soul is counted free,
for God the just is satisfied
to look on him and pardon me
to look on him and pardon me."

from my favorite church song
"before the throne of God above"